To all my avid readers, I am sorry beyond belief that I have not updated in a month. The time has flown by since my last posts, and I don’t even know where to begin. I’m in the hospital right now starting my fourth round which is three weeks away from the halfway point. YAY, the end is in sight! I will be spending New Year’s Eve in the hospital with my dad and the wonderful nursing staff of MD Anderson. I’m a tiny bit disappointed by this, but you know, the sooner I start the treatments, the sooner I’m done. This is the type of attitude that my doctor—The Queen—likes, she likes fighters. Now don’t be fooled, I may appear to be this ultra positive girl (which at the moment I am), but up until two days ago I was really struggling. My dad and I were calling me “the Grinch” because I was just...let’s just say I wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around. I think the past month has been the hardest yet and the past week and a half the hardest of all, and I haven’t been able to write a blog entry because I was so down and didn’t feel capable of putting my feelings into words. For that I’m sorry, but in hindsight, I think I can tell you now what was going on. I was struggling with my life and what it has become—never ending of in and out of the hospital, lots and lots of needles, days where I can’t talk coherently with people because my mind is not 100% there, days when I can’t eat anything but crackers, times when I have to lay down all day because I feel faint, days when my hands shake and I can’t hold things, days when I miss my family, days when I look in the mirror and feel ugly because I lost my hair and the steroids make me puffy, days when I worry that I’m losing all of my friends because I can’t talk to them or see them, times when I feel like I can’t talk to anybody, days when I feel like I’m not even Kendall Kayworth. Worse than that, I was really fighting God. I was just so upset with Him and confused as to why something like this had to happen right now. There are so many whys. Why now God? I was studying abroad, and I wasn’t able to go back for the last two months to travel with my friends in Argentina. I’m only 20 years old. I was supposed to start nursing school in January with two of my best friends, and one was supposed to be my suitemate. I’m living in Houston with my mom (who continues to be the best nurse in the world), and we don’t really know anyone here, although thanks be to God we are meeting people and making friends. It just doesn’t make any sense, and questions and doubts still circulate in my head all the time. What’s changing is that I’m beginning to see part of the bigger picture, and God has answered a few prayers in the past couple days that have really helped me to see that He is here with me in this mess. I know that the next three and a half months will be the same as the last two and half—at least physically, but the difference is that right now, in this moment, I feel an incredible peace about it. Perhaps part of it is the spirit of Christmas, the time spent with my family, feeling well physically, and my two answered prayers. However, I know that the main reason is because God is working in me, and he’s slowly revealing himself while chipping away at all my fears and doubts. I know this may sound a little crazy to some people, but I truly believe this, enough to base my whole life on it.
Now that you know what’s been going on with me emotionally (sorry for letting it all out), I think I should catch you up on what I’ve been up to the past month. This could be a long blog.
I am pretty sure where I left off in my last blog was after round two of chemo, and I had just spent Thanksgiving with my two friends and my family at the lake. After my two friends went back home to Colorado, I stayed in Houston with my mom for almost all of round three, we went home to Waco around December 22nd. Round three was not good physically or emotionally, and I am just going to leave it at that. I spent a couple blissful days at home recovering, attended my church’s Christmas Eve service and then my entire family packed it up at 9 pm and headed to my grandparents lakehouse. I have a confession to make. I was so excited about Christmas that I woke up four different times, once at 3 a.m., again at 6 a.m., then 7 a.m., and then finally at 9 a.m. I jumped on my little sister (who usually sleeps in until like 12 pm—what a waste of a day, but I guess I used to do that as well) and made her wake up with me. I was just like a little kid on Christmas morning, and Kolby (my little sister) laughed at me because I was so giddy. What’s wrong with this picture, the 20 year old waking up the 12 year old on Christmas morning? I then woke up my dad—I told you I was excited. Everyone else of course was already up, so we ate breakfast, drank coffee and hot chocolate, and opened presents all simultaneously for almost three hours. It was awesome, and I’m not exaggerating. For those of you who know me well, you know that I am “directionally challenged.” Ironically, my gift from my parents was a GPS system. Yay! I will never be lost again! I think it will come in handy when I go to nursing school in Dallas next August, and I know it will come in handy while I’m living in Houston because this city is ridiculously large. On the 26th, pretty early in the morning—6 a.m., my sister and brother-in-law flew in from Portland, Oregon. They came to the lake for the next day and a half, and then we went back home (Lorena home, not to be confused with Houston home) for another two days. It was so great to spend time with Kari Ann and Bryan, and I really enjoyed it, even though there wasn’t that much to do. I love my brother and sister, and I love seeing my sister so happy. Then on the evening of the 29th my dad and I came back to Houston. On the 30th, after a 7 a.m. and 10 a.m. appointment and lunch with two friends, I was checked into the hospital around 4 p.m. They started the chemo at 7:30 p.m., and I will probably be in the hospital receiving chemo until the 2nd or 3rd. Kari Ann, Bryan, my mom and Kolby are all coming to Houston on the 1st, but Bryan is headed back to Portland. I’m pretty bummed; I really like my brother-in-law, but Kari Ann is going to stay with me in Houston until the 9th! I guess I have a lot to look forward to because I was also promised a visit from my friend of nine years, the one and only Miss Amanda Reed. (Now you have to come, haha). Beyond that, I am looking forward to my birthday on Sunday, January 18th. God is so good! My 21st birthday falls on the second to last day of round four of chemo, and also Baylor has a holiday on Monday the 19th. I’ll be checked back into the hospital on January 20th. This means that I will a) be able to be home in Lorena for my birthday and b) feel physically great. Although I have a feeling my birthday won’t be the average 21st birthday — aka no alcohol, maybe one if Dr. T says its o.k. — I can’t wait to spend it with my friends at Baylor and my family.
The only other stories I can think to tell are about my answered prayers. So you know I was talking about how the past month has been exceptionally difficult, on the 30th God answered my prayers. I oftentimes find myself feeling alone, and I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about what I’ve been going through. It’s difficult to talk about having cancer and all the emotions involved when I know that people will never quite understand even though they will be sympathetic and encouraging. Cancer is just one of those monumental events in life that can only be understood by those who have personally experienced it. Anyways, I was on my in for my blood tests at 7 a.m. on the 30th, when I saw a woman I met through my ministers wife. She is in remission of ALL (acute lymphoblastic leukemia…I believe) and is in the final part of her treatments. Her name is Jennifer, and she is a wife and mother of three. She went through the same exact treatment as I am, she has the same exact doctor, physician’s assistant and nurse as I do, and she is a Christian. I met her in the hospital during my first round of treatments; she came into my room and introduced herself. We talked for a little, cried a tad, and she told me to call her anytime. I never did call her although the thought did cross my mind multiple times the past month. Thinking back, talking with her probably would have helped a lot. Yesterday morning I met a guy who is my age as well. His name is Ryan, he is a 21 year old student at University of Texas, and he will be coming to MD Anderson every Tuesday. Hopefully, I'll be able to be in contact with him. God is so faithful. Those are my two stories.
I think that about sums it all up for right now. Hope everyone had a great Christmas and will have a Happy New Year! XOXO
P.S. This blog is so long, and I really need to go walk around the hospital because I’m tired of being in my room, so I’m not going to proofread. Sorry if there are lots of spelling and grammar errors.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
It's Been Awhile
Okay, so this is going to be a little bit more of an informative post. I realize I haven't posted in a pretty long time, and I need to catch everyone up.
Last Wednesday started round two of chemotherapy. I stayed in the hospital for four days, had some wonderful visitors--five to be exact, and basically passed the rest of my time reading the Twilight series. This hospital stay was probably 10 times better than the first one. I'm not sure if it was the type of chemo, more to do, visitors, one really good nurse who talked to me a lot, or maybe it was just the combination. Whatever the reason, I am so thankful that the four days went by relatively fast. As soon as I got out of the hospital, my mom and I drove to meet up with my roommates who finally arrived from Argentina! Yay! Over my stay in the hospital, my mom and our family friend, Jeannine, moved into our homey apartment. Our apartment is less than 2 miles away from the medical center, and it takes less than five minutes to get there. This helps a lot, especially on days like today when I have to be at the hospital at 7 am.
I went back a couple days after I was released for a full 13 hour day of out-patient chemo—lumbar puncture included. My roommates came with my mom and me to the hospital and were able to get an idea of my days in Houston, which aren't too exciting.
Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ lakehouse was great. We watched college football, read for hours, played board games and all of us played what was probably the most hilarious and entertaining game of Catch Phrase. We all laughed so hard—tears and snorting included, and my roommates and I still laugh about it. We also ate an ungodly amount of food; my grandma finds enjoyment in stuffing us like turkeys before sending us on our merry way back home. She’s extremely good at making you get seconds even though you feel like you couldn’t eat another bite. We had to cut our stay short due to another appointment, but it was still great to be with all my family and my friends, no matter how brief. I did miss my sister and brother-in-law a whole lot. My entire family was supposed to go to Tennessee for the break, but sadly that was impossible, another year perhaps. After leaving the lake, my mom, dad, little sister, two friends, family dog and I all stayed in our small one bedroom/1 bathroom apartment. We were packed tighter than sardines, or so the saying goes, I think. The following morning, mom left for Tennessee to be with Kari Ann and Bryan. Although hesitant to leave me alone (but my college roommates were and are still here), we were able to convince her that I would be fine for a few days. I promised I would take all my medicines, get up for my doctor’s appointments, wash my hands (which I always do anyways, remember that I am "germ conscious"), stay out of big crowds, and not try to do too much, etc. My mom is like my own little nurse, and I’m not going to lie I was a little nervous when she left. (I miss you mom). Thankfully this round of chemo has been so much easier than the last, and I haven’t felt sick at all, maybe tired for a couple of days. Kolby (she called herself the junior college girl this weekend, it was really cute) and dad left the same day to head back to Waco, and that left my roommates and me alone in Houston.
Since it’s just been the three of us, we’ve been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy, cooking dinner, scrapbooking, reading, playing Disney scene-it, and going to Starbucks and movies. It’s the first time since October 8th that I’ve felt normal. Not just physically, although I do feel great, but more importantly I feel more like me. I think it’s the fact that Emmy Jo and Kara are crazy and super entertaining. We are all three pretty ridiculous in our own ways, and when we’re together we laugh all the time. I love it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, but I’m going to say it again, I have the best friends in the world.
My doctor told me last week that there was a chance I would need a blood transfusion today. I had to be up at the hospital this morning for blood tests at 7 am, and thankfully everything is looking good. My counts are on the low side but are still in the good range.
I was a little surprised because Dr. Thomas told me that this round would be harder than the first and that I would more than likely have lower levels than round one. On Tuesday I have another appointment and hopefully Dr. T will tell me everything looks good so that I can come home for a couple of days. I’ll definitely post as soon as I know if I can.
I'll write again soon.
Last Wednesday started round two of chemotherapy. I stayed in the hospital for four days, had some wonderful visitors--five to be exact, and basically passed the rest of my time reading the Twilight series. This hospital stay was probably 10 times better than the first one. I'm not sure if it was the type of chemo, more to do, visitors, one really good nurse who talked to me a lot, or maybe it was just the combination. Whatever the reason, I am so thankful that the four days went by relatively fast. As soon as I got out of the hospital, my mom and I drove to meet up with my roommates who finally arrived from Argentina! Yay! Over my stay in the hospital, my mom and our family friend, Jeannine, moved into our homey apartment. Our apartment is less than 2 miles away from the medical center, and it takes less than five minutes to get there. This helps a lot, especially on days like today when I have to be at the hospital at 7 am.
I went back a couple days after I was released for a full 13 hour day of out-patient chemo—lumbar puncture included. My roommates came with my mom and me to the hospital and were able to get an idea of my days in Houston, which aren't too exciting.
Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ lakehouse was great. We watched college football, read for hours, played board games and all of us played what was probably the most hilarious and entertaining game of Catch Phrase. We all laughed so hard—tears and snorting included, and my roommates and I still laugh about it. We also ate an ungodly amount of food; my grandma finds enjoyment in stuffing us like turkeys before sending us on our merry way back home. She’s extremely good at making you get seconds even though you feel like you couldn’t eat another bite. We had to cut our stay short due to another appointment, but it was still great to be with all my family and my friends, no matter how brief. I did miss my sister and brother-in-law a whole lot. My entire family was supposed to go to Tennessee for the break, but sadly that was impossible, another year perhaps. After leaving the lake, my mom, dad, little sister, two friends, family dog and I all stayed in our small one bedroom/1 bathroom apartment. We were packed tighter than sardines, or so the saying goes, I think. The following morning, mom left for Tennessee to be with Kari Ann and Bryan. Although hesitant to leave me alone (but my college roommates were and are still here), we were able to convince her that I would be fine for a few days. I promised I would take all my medicines, get up for my doctor’s appointments, wash my hands (which I always do anyways, remember that I am "germ conscious"), stay out of big crowds, and not try to do too much, etc. My mom is like my own little nurse, and I’m not going to lie I was a little nervous when she left. (I miss you mom). Thankfully this round of chemo has been so much easier than the last, and I haven’t felt sick at all, maybe tired for a couple of days. Kolby (she called herself the junior college girl this weekend, it was really cute) and dad left the same day to head back to Waco, and that left my roommates and me alone in Houston.
Since it’s just been the three of us, we’ve been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy, cooking dinner, scrapbooking, reading, playing Disney scene-it, and going to Starbucks and movies. It’s the first time since October 8th that I’ve felt normal. Not just physically, although I do feel great, but more importantly I feel more like me. I think it’s the fact that Emmy Jo and Kara are crazy and super entertaining. We are all three pretty ridiculous in our own ways, and when we’re together we laugh all the time. I love it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, but I’m going to say it again, I have the best friends in the world.
My doctor told me last week that there was a chance I would need a blood transfusion today. I had to be up at the hospital this morning for blood tests at 7 am, and thankfully everything is looking good. My counts are on the low side but are still in the good range.
I was a little surprised because Dr. Thomas told me that this round would be harder than the first and that I would more than likely have lower levels than round one. On Tuesday I have another appointment and hopefully Dr. T will tell me everything looks good so that I can come home for a couple of days. I’ll definitely post as soon as I know if I can.
I'll write again soon.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
CANCER FREE!!!
Where to begin, with a title like that, the only place really is from the beginning? All last week I knew I was going to have a second PET scan (the scan that shows where the cancer is in the entire body), and to be honest with you I was worried. I had a spot of cancer on my vertebrae in my first PET scan, and I envisioned myself being told that it had spread to my spinal cord (not good, at all). I knew that this was not highly likely, but definitely possible. I terrified myself by thinking of worst possible scenarios, never a good idea. You’re mind can’t help but wander in times like these. Anyways, walking into M.D. Anderson this morning, I felt strangely calm, and I know now that God was giving me His peace. I suited up in my scrubs that were two sizes to big, was injected with radioactive material, waited/rested for an hour for the injection to circulate through my entire body, and was finally told to lay down with my hands above my head and my legs straight. I was slowly passed through a scanner. It took about 20 or so minutes. Thankfully, I was able to stay still (I’m not very good in enclosed spaces). Two hours later, I was called in for my doctor’s appointment. My mom was with me. The physician’s assistant came in, a smile playing on her lips. Halfway through going over my blood work, she happily said, “I only have good news for you today.” I think I knew then. She then handed me a piece of paper that in the center read “scan demonstrates complete response to therapy” and then with a huge smile said, “you are cancer free.” I looked at my mom and we both smiled. Surprisingly, I didn’t cry. My tears might have brimmed a little, but mostly I was just smiling. I wanted to hug her, but I refrained. My PA (her name is Lori) almost started crying, and searched unsuccessfully for tissues. After she left, my mom and I, still smiling, hugged each other and sat silently waiting for my doctor. My doctor, who I just found out is the number one expert in her field in the nation (I knew she was smart, but man…praise the Lord she is my doctor), came in grinning as well. Dr. Thomas told me that this was the best case scenario, and that it is a good sign. She seemed very happy, and I know that when Dr. Thomas is happy, then I can be ecstatic. She then went over the next round of chemo with me. Yes, don’t be surprised, I still have to finish ALL of my chemotherapy treatments. She told us that I have to finish it out because at this point the cancer can and probably would come back, so I have to endure the next 7 rounds/5 months, more or less. Actually, knowing that the cancer is gone is going to make this SO much easier. I can now tell myself when I’m feeling crappy that I’m cancer free because the chemo is working and will continue to work. Dr. Thomas also told me that after I’m completely done with the chemo, I’ll have to come back for regular tests for a year, and if I go a full year without the cancer returning I will be 100% cured--the cancer I have (or had) will NEVER come back. I’m being admitted tomorrow, I’m not sure exactly when, but now I’m more ready than ever. I never thought I’d say this, but I actually can’t wait to get in the hospital. Weird…Anyways, that’s what happened to today.
I think I should say as well that God really has answered a lot of prayers. I know that so many people have been praying, and God has been/is listening. All I can say right now is that He is good, He is the Great Healer, but most importantly God has been and will continue to remain faithful. I know that I am now cancer free, but please continue to pray for the next five months, this chemo regimen is not easy and really takes a lot out of me. Please pray that God will keep me healthy, keep my body strong, and keep the cancer from coming back. Love you all!
Praise the Lord. He is our battle-shield. He is our Redeemer.
I think I should say as well that God really has answered a lot of prayers. I know that so many people have been praying, and God has been/is listening. All I can say right now is that He is good, He is the Great Healer, but most importantly God has been and will continue to remain faithful. I know that I am now cancer free, but please continue to pray for the next five months, this chemo regimen is not easy and really takes a lot out of me. Please pray that God will keep me healthy, keep my body strong, and keep the cancer from coming back. Love you all!
Praise the Lord. He is our battle-shield. He is our Redeemer.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Dr. Deborah A Thomas
I wrote a post a while ago talking about my doctor, "The Queen." I was doing a little research last night and decided to look her up. This is what I found. This woman is ridiculously good at what she does. YAY for me!!!
Check out Dr. Thomas with the web address below.
http://www.mdanderson.org/departments/leukemia/display.cfm?id=C646F102-D121-11D4-80FD00508B603A14&method=displayFull&pn=0F815FDC-C623-11D4-80FB00508B603A14
Check out Dr. Thomas with the web address below.
http://www.mdanderson.org/departments/leukemia/display.cfm?id=C646F102-D121-11D4-80FD00508B603A14&method=displayFull&pn=0F815FDC-C623-11D4-80FB00508B603A14
Friday, November 14, 2008
Home Sweet Home
I've been wanting to write for a long time, but it seems that having nothing of importance to do actually makes me not want to do anything at all. I kind of like it. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I haven’t had any obligations whatsoever. I’m not in school, I’m not in any kind of organization, I don’t even have a hobby--yet. I’m enjoying it for the time being, but I think after a while I might go a little crazy. I mean, a person can’t sit in front of the TV all day without their mind turning into mush. I’m about to begin my new hobby—reading, I LOVE reading.
I came home last Friday and spent the evening and following morning/afternoon with my best friend, who drove in from College Station to see me even though she had two tests and two projects due the following week. Since then, I have had sorority sisters come out to my house, coffee and dessert with the ladies from church, lunch with friends, and just loads of visitors, phone calls, letters, and e-mails. It has been a tremendous encouragement—tremendous. God is faithful and continues to bless me with the joy of friends and family.
I know in my last post I talked a little bit about losing my hair. Well I have a little bit of a funny story. Last Sunday evening, five of my Baylor friends came out to my house in Lorena to stay the night. After going to a late showing of High School Musical 3 (yes…real mature), we all thought it would be a great idea to dye streaks of blue into our hair. At 1 am, the girls and I go out on the back porch to start the process of bleaching our hair. We wait about 30 minutes or so for the bleach to set, we put the blue in. Another 45 minutes of waiting and laughing hysterically passes. Girl number one sticks her head under the faucet of my tub, but as massive amounts of dark blue dye slushes around in the tub, we realize that it probably isn’t a good idea to dye my tub along with our hair. At this point it’s around 3 am and pretty chilly outside—probably in the 50s. We decide it’s a way better idea to go outside and stick our head under the hose to rid our hair of this foul smelling blue dye. Yea…we are in college, but we’re apparently not too bright. It was so cold, and we’re all outside standing under the hose, semi blue-headed and soaking wet because my hose is a little on the strong side. Lucky for me, I had my head shaved the next day, but those poor girls will have blue streaks in their hair for the next 8 weeks. I have great friends.
This has been a week of rest, and I am so glad that I was able to come home. I’m heading back to Houston on the 17th, which I believe is Monday, to start round two of my treatments. I’m not 100% sure that I’m ready, but I know that the sooner I get started, the sooner it will be over. My dad and friend/pastor keep reminding me to take each day as it comes. If I start to project too far ahead, I scare the geez out of myself. I honestly think that’s how life is in general. When I took my first Anatomy and Physiology class, I would make myself ill thinking about how many tests I had left or how many days I was going to need to study for the next test. In my second A&P class, I trained myself instead to think daily—today I’m going to study. Thinking too far ahead is stressful, and stress really just makes things worse.
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34
I came home last Friday and spent the evening and following morning/afternoon with my best friend, who drove in from College Station to see me even though she had two tests and two projects due the following week. Since then, I have had sorority sisters come out to my house, coffee and dessert with the ladies from church, lunch with friends, and just loads of visitors, phone calls, letters, and e-mails. It has been a tremendous encouragement—tremendous. God is faithful and continues to bless me with the joy of friends and family.
I know in my last post I talked a little bit about losing my hair. Well I have a little bit of a funny story. Last Sunday evening, five of my Baylor friends came out to my house in Lorena to stay the night. After going to a late showing of High School Musical 3 (yes…real mature), we all thought it would be a great idea to dye streaks of blue into our hair. At 1 am, the girls and I go out on the back porch to start the process of bleaching our hair. We wait about 30 minutes or so for the bleach to set, we put the blue in. Another 45 minutes of waiting and laughing hysterically passes. Girl number one sticks her head under the faucet of my tub, but as massive amounts of dark blue dye slushes around in the tub, we realize that it probably isn’t a good idea to dye my tub along with our hair. At this point it’s around 3 am and pretty chilly outside—probably in the 50s. We decide it’s a way better idea to go outside and stick our head under the hose to rid our hair of this foul smelling blue dye. Yea…we are in college, but we’re apparently not too bright. It was so cold, and we’re all outside standing under the hose, semi blue-headed and soaking wet because my hose is a little on the strong side. Lucky for me, I had my head shaved the next day, but those poor girls will have blue streaks in their hair for the next 8 weeks. I have great friends.
This has been a week of rest, and I am so glad that I was able to come home. I’m heading back to Houston on the 17th, which I believe is Monday, to start round two of my treatments. I’m not 100% sure that I’m ready, but I know that the sooner I get started, the sooner it will be over. My dad and friend/pastor keep reminding me to take each day as it comes. If I start to project too far ahead, I scare the geez out of myself. I honestly think that’s how life is in general. When I took my first Anatomy and Physiology class, I would make myself ill thinking about how many tests I had left or how many days I was going to need to study for the next test. In my second A&P class, I trained myself instead to think daily—today I’m going to study. Thinking too far ahead is stressful, and stress really just makes things worse.
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Early Sunday Morning Reflections
I woke up at 5:30 am--this is NOT a normal thing. Ask any of my friends or better yet, my roommates from college, and they would tell you of my angry, not a morning person, don’t even think about waking me up even if I tell you to the night before, stories.
Not too much new information since last Wednesday. I'm finally home :) What a gigantic relief to be able to sit on the couch with all of my family (well, minus Kari Ann and Bryan) and watch a football game.
Now, if I were still in Argentina, which I would have been until the 13th of December, I would be traveling with my friends right now to all kinds of interesting places. That’s a tough one. I think I might actually prefer sitting around with my family to the 34 hour bus ride that my friends are currently taking. Girls, I know giving up the last 2 weeks of your traveling time was a bit of a messy ordeal, but it’s something that I will never forget—never.
Yesterday, reality hit me like a big slap on the face. As I ran my fingers through my hair, I couldn’t help but stare at the globs remaining in my hands. I mean, I knew this day was coming. As a matter of fact, I knew it was approaching rapidly, but I just didn’t realize that even something like losing your hair changes normal life. Maybe it’s the fact that I will actually look like a cancer patient, there’s no more denying it. And okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. I’m not too upset by the fact that I’m going to be bald here soon. In fact, I’m actually enjoying hat shopping probably a little too much at the moment. I bought a super cute one from Target yesterday, my friend Amy is giving me one at church because apparently “I will love it” (and I’m sure I will), and my creative Ammy from North Carolina is already making me a couple. I feel a tad bit pampered and extremely loved, but I’m not complaining J I’m pretty sure I have the most supportive family, church and friends that a girl could ever ask for, and I do feel blessed every single day.
New plans for Christmas—each year my family goes to south Florida for the Christmas holidays. It’s been a tradition every since we moved to Texas when I was in 3rd grade. This tradition has only been broken one time in the past, but it seems that this year, my family will break tradition yet again. As I said in my post from last week, planning anything extensive is just not possible right now, so the best we can do is “plan” on staying close to home. I’m actually pretty excited about it because my sister and brother-in-law are going to be coming down to visit, and I cannot wait to be surrounded by the people I love the most! I know that sounds cheesy and all, but I think it kind of comes with the territory.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26).
How deep is the grace of Christ that when we don’t know how to pray or what to say to God, He does it for us
Not too much new information since last Wednesday. I'm finally home :) What a gigantic relief to be able to sit on the couch with all of my family (well, minus Kari Ann and Bryan) and watch a football game.
Now, if I were still in Argentina, which I would have been until the 13th of December, I would be traveling with my friends right now to all kinds of interesting places. That’s a tough one. I think I might actually prefer sitting around with my family to the 34 hour bus ride that my friends are currently taking. Girls, I know giving up the last 2 weeks of your traveling time was a bit of a messy ordeal, but it’s something that I will never forget—never.
Yesterday, reality hit me like a big slap on the face. As I ran my fingers through my hair, I couldn’t help but stare at the globs remaining in my hands. I mean, I knew this day was coming. As a matter of fact, I knew it was approaching rapidly, but I just didn’t realize that even something like losing your hair changes normal life. Maybe it’s the fact that I will actually look like a cancer patient, there’s no more denying it. And okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. I’m not too upset by the fact that I’m going to be bald here soon. In fact, I’m actually enjoying hat shopping probably a little too much at the moment. I bought a super cute one from Target yesterday, my friend Amy is giving me one at church because apparently “I will love it” (and I’m sure I will), and my creative Ammy from North Carolina is already making me a couple. I feel a tad bit pampered and extremely loved, but I’m not complaining J I’m pretty sure I have the most supportive family, church and friends that a girl could ever ask for, and I do feel blessed every single day.
New plans for Christmas—each year my family goes to south Florida for the Christmas holidays. It’s been a tradition every since we moved to Texas when I was in 3rd grade. This tradition has only been broken one time in the past, but it seems that this year, my family will break tradition yet again. As I said in my post from last week, planning anything extensive is just not possible right now, so the best we can do is “plan” on staying close to home. I’m actually pretty excited about it because my sister and brother-in-law are going to be coming down to visit, and I cannot wait to be surrounded by the people I love the most! I know that sounds cheesy and all, but I think it kind of comes with the territory.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26).
How deep is the grace of Christ that when we don’t know how to pray or what to say to God, He does it for us
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Giving Up on Making Plans
I must admit, I'm a little bit of a control-freak. I like planning, I like a written schedule, I like a time-line, I just love knowing or atleast thinking I know what my future holds. Reality check, I can't even make plans for my weekend because everything is continually changing, from doctor's appointments and results, to different events, to making time to see or just stay in touch with family and friends. It's just frustrating the living daylights out of me that my life at the moment is a big fat Question Mark ??? Where will I be this weekend, next week, next month, next year? I thought I knew. I had this perfect plan for myself: Argentina until December, then nursing school in January, New York after graduation, etc. etc. This has all changed for the time being, and my life has moved in a little bit of a different direction.
So now that I've vented a little, I'm going to tell what I'm learning in all of this. I don't know what the future holds. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. The only thing that I do know, and that I can 100% trust in right now is that God is in control. He is making straight my paths. He is the best planner--way better than I could ever be. He is good, and He has His plan that is in His time and is for His glory.
The more I give my life to him, the more peace I feel.
This is just a little something that I thought I should share briefly.
So now that I've vented a little, I'm going to tell what I'm learning in all of this. I don't know what the future holds. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. The only thing that I do know, and that I can 100% trust in right now is that God is in control. He is making straight my paths. He is the best planner--way better than I could ever be. He is good, and He has His plan that is in His time and is for His glory.
The more I give my life to him, the more peace I feel.
This is just a little something that I thought I should share briefly.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Exciting News
Today, I had bloodwork in the morning, an appointment with Dr. Thomas, and chemo. We left the house at 7:45 am and didn't get back until 6:45 pm. It was a pretty long day. Dr. Thomas told me that my platelet and hemoglobin counts are good right now, but my neutrophil (the defense against harmful microbes) is in the red zone. She said that they should be recovered by Friday, but until then, I will mainly be staying in our room in an attempt to avoid any type of illness. When I do go out, I have to wear a medical mask and gloves to ward off bacteria. I really just have to stear clear of large groups of people, which is just asking for trouble. Also, I have been taking an antibiotic, antiviral, and two antifungals daily, so that should help as well. They really don't kid around about this stuff. I'm kind of laughing now about the statement I wrote in an earlier post, "I will have to become more of a “germ freak” than I already am—let’s hope I don’t become too OCD." Remember that one? Yes, I already have a tendency of worrying a little too much about germs and am occasionally called a "germ freak" by members of my family and close friends. Just ask my best friend, Amanda, who in middle school (and yes, high school, we were obviously so mature) would without fail stick one finger in my bread, corn, applesauce, or some other food item on my lunch tray. She knew I wouldn't eat it because of her "germy" hands and loved watching me get mad or just exasperated. However, for future reference, I prefer to be called "germ conscious," or even "germ aware" would be fine. Back to the doctor's appointment. She told us that since my WBC count should (should being the key word here) be recovered on Friday, or at the latest Tuesday, I can come home to Waco until the 18th of November, on which day I will be re-admitted for another 4 days of in-patient chemo. The doctor told us that this rarely happens and that we should take advantage while we have the opportunity to go home. A whole week at home! What a blessing!! We have been living out of our small suitcases that we brought weeks ago, when we thought we would be commuting to Houston for treatments--not living in Houston permanently. We are going to be able to go home, relax, and pack for the months ahead. I am just praying that everything works out, and that nothing big will happen to keep us in Houston. So this is the exciting news. God keeps giving me great things to look forward to that are helping me to await the future with more than just uncertainty, but with excitement and joy. For example, I'm seeing Amanda this weekend, I'm going home, Thanksgiving at my grandparent's lakehouse, Emmy Jo, Kara and Lauren are coming home from Argentina early to spend two weeks with me in Houston, Christmas in Florida with my family, my sister coming to Houston for a visit, my 21st birthday in January, and I'm sure that He has more great things in store.
Monday, November 3, 2008
A Perfectly Uneventful Weekend
The weekend was such a refreshing break, and I am happy to say that as predicted, I watched football, spent time with my family, and ate my Omi's mashed potatoes--they are the best in the world. We lazed through the weekend with no major problems and few minor ones. The two that were encountered were actually pretty funny, and I am going to try to give them both justice in a quick recount of the events. My mom and I left Houston for the lakehouse (a 2 and a half hour journey) at 1 pm or so on Saturday afternoon. After about 45 minutes of painful stop-and-go traffic driving, we stopped at a Sonic to get something to eat. "Mom, we got all my medicines, didn't we?" Why I didn't asked this 45 minutes earlier, I still don't know. My mom sat thinking for a minute, a second later in a highly exasperated voice "I forgot your heparin flush!" Heparin flush is a liquid injection that my mom shoots into the catheter in my chest daily to clean it out. It's a pretty important step in my daily routine. Now to my moms credit, I didn't help her at all in the packing of the car, and it was an easy mistake that I could have definitely helped to prevent. Thankfully, the hour and a half extra in the car was thought of as little more than a comical mishap shortly after. On Sunday evening, I asked my mom to change the dressing over my catheter. It's supposed to be changed once a week, and there is like an 18 step completely sterile process to change it. It's kind of a pain, but since the catheter leads into one of the major veins close to the heart, it's kind of important to keep it clean. So anyways, after my mom had cleaned the surface of the countertop, slowly taken off the old bandage, carefully cleaned the wound, and re-covered it with new gauze, she looks for the special type of bandage to put over the gauze and it is nowhere to be found. After this 20 minute process of slow and sterile cleaning, I'm sitting on the chair with only gauze over these holes in my chest. Come to find out, all of the supplies for the dressing change came in the package that we received from the hospital, everything that is EXCEPT the bandage. It was late and the lakehouse is out in the country, so there was no hope of going to a pharmacy. My mom, the creative mind that she is, made due with Glad clingwrap, white medical tape and bandaids. We will be changing this make-shift bandage as soon as we get back to Houston. I can't help but laugh whenever I think about it; me sitting in a chair watching while everyone is frantically searching for some sort of bandage. The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, but uneventful right now is good. I have decided that my mom and grandma are the two most servant-hearted people that I have ever met. They really find joy in serving other people, and I can really see Christ in them. So if you are reading this mom and Omi, I want to say thank you because I don't think I say it enough.
My dad brought me a box of various letters and a couple packages that were all sent to my house in Waco. I feel so blessed to have the love and support of so many people. Thank you again and again--I can't say it enough.
A prayer answered--After 5 days of tirelessly searching, my mom and I have an apartment and will be moving in on November 18th. We are both so excited to have a "home." It is very close to the hospital, close to some fun shopping (this could be trouble, j/k dad), and just plain beautiful. There's a work-out facility, pool, lake, entertainment center, business center, and everything you can think of. God is good and is continually providing.
Tomorrow I have out-patient chemo, three different types; one will be new and the other two I've had before. Please pray that my body responds well to the chemos.
Thanks for all of your prayers :) I am one blessed girl.
My dad brought me a box of various letters and a couple packages that were all sent to my house in Waco. I feel so blessed to have the love and support of so many people. Thank you again and again--I can't say it enough.
A prayer answered--After 5 days of tirelessly searching, my mom and I have an apartment and will be moving in on November 18th. We are both so excited to have a "home." It is very close to the hospital, close to some fun shopping (this could be trouble, j/k dad), and just plain beautiful. There's a work-out facility, pool, lake, entertainment center, business center, and everything you can think of. God is good and is continually providing.
Tomorrow I have out-patient chemo, three different types; one will be new and the other two I've had before. Please pray that my body responds well to the chemos.
Thanks for all of your prayers :) I am one blessed girl.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
A week since the beginning--
So you were probably wondering, where in the world is Kendall? Have no fear, I have been slightly drugged up since I came out of the hospital and therefore not fit to right a proper blog. I tried a couple of times, but every time I would re-read it, I would be so confused by my own ramblings and thought chasing. Tuesday afternoon I was released from the hospital—or rather the looming fortress that controls my every movement. I felt such a sense of freedom, no IV’s, no tubes, no remote control airbed, and no chemo. However, I did feel the toll that the chemo (aka poison) had taken on my body the past 5 days. Those of you who know me, know that I am by no means frail and am actually inclined to contact sports and “horsing-around.” Leaving the hospital, it was all I could do not to pass out while transferring from the wheelchair to the passenger seat of my mom’s minivan. The rest of the day and Wednesday were kind of a whirlwind between light-headedness, nausea and just plain fatigue. Needless to say, it was a hard past couple of days, and yes sadly, there will be more days like those throughout this six month ordeal. I did however have a visit from my Uncle Tim which helped make the day go by faster, and of course, it’s always good to see family.
If you’re starting to feel a little sorry for me, you can stop now because today I woke up feeling great—in good spirits and in good health. I went into MD Anderson at 8 am for some blood work. Then at 10:30 am I had an appointment with my doctor. I feel like I should take a moment here and give Dr. Debbie Thomas a little introduction. Dr. Thomas on first site is a petite woman in her mid 40s, with dark graying hair, and very sharp features from her nose to chin to her small and highly intellectual eyes. You can just tell by meeting this woman that she is “the boss.” She has this aura about her that she knows what she’s doing—not just an aura, I think she actually is the best. This woman is incredible, when nurses ask me who my doctor is, and I say “Dr. Thomas,” they all get this look in their eyes, and they really make sure that they are on top of everything, and I mean everything. One nurse even called her “The Queen.” Anyways, I was at first a little intimidated by her because she is undoubtedly brilliant, but sitting in the office with her also made me feel protected in a way. When she told me that this lymphoma would be “a six month glitch in my life,” I definitely was relieved especially hearing it from her because I don’t think she would sugar-coat anything. She is definitely a demanding presence, but I know that she cares for her patients and I am so so thankful to be under her hawk-eyed care. Back to the actual doctor’s appointment, Dr. Thomas told me my WBC (white blood cell) counts looked good so far. I did have high bilirubin (has to do with the liver) and low potassium levels that will be getting checked again this Saturday. So far, so good. After that, I had a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) with a chemo injection. Sounds pretty horrible, right? Yea, it would seem so, but they give you relaxing medicine and numb up your back with local anesthesia (which is actually the part that hurts) and it only ends up being an uncomfortable 10 minute process. After that they make you lie on your back for a good hour or more so as to avoid excruciating head-aches, which I have not had. I was surprised when my mom entered the room with a good church-friend of ours, Amy Drake. The hour went by quickly, and it was so nice to see a familiar face in a place where everything is so foreign.
My mom and I have been searching for apartments because the place where we are living right now is more of a “temporary” lodging. It’s like a very nice hotel room, but I think for six months we are going to want something a little bigger and with a kitchen for sure.
I am excited to say that I will be going to my grandparents lakehouse for the weekend to relax. Actually, I think it is probably more for the benefit of my mother. Poor thing, she’s a trooper. (I will devote a future blog just to my mom.) I plan on watching lots of college football, eating my grandma’s mashed potatoes, and just spending time with my family, which is hard to come by these days. What with my mom and me in Houston and my dad and Kolby in Waco, but my family is strong, and I know that we’ll be able to stick it out.
I will try to be more diligent in my entries. I promise :)
If you’re starting to feel a little sorry for me, you can stop now because today I woke up feeling great—in good spirits and in good health. I went into MD Anderson at 8 am for some blood work. Then at 10:30 am I had an appointment with my doctor. I feel like I should take a moment here and give Dr. Debbie Thomas a little introduction. Dr. Thomas on first site is a petite woman in her mid 40s, with dark graying hair, and very sharp features from her nose to chin to her small and highly intellectual eyes. You can just tell by meeting this woman that she is “the boss.” She has this aura about her that she knows what she’s doing—not just an aura, I think she actually is the best. This woman is incredible, when nurses ask me who my doctor is, and I say “Dr. Thomas,” they all get this look in their eyes, and they really make sure that they are on top of everything, and I mean everything. One nurse even called her “The Queen.” Anyways, I was at first a little intimidated by her because she is undoubtedly brilliant, but sitting in the office with her also made me feel protected in a way. When she told me that this lymphoma would be “a six month glitch in my life,” I definitely was relieved especially hearing it from her because I don’t think she would sugar-coat anything. She is definitely a demanding presence, but I know that she cares for her patients and I am so so thankful to be under her hawk-eyed care. Back to the actual doctor’s appointment, Dr. Thomas told me my WBC (white blood cell) counts looked good so far. I did have high bilirubin (has to do with the liver) and low potassium levels that will be getting checked again this Saturday. So far, so good. After that, I had a lumbar puncture (spinal tap) with a chemo injection. Sounds pretty horrible, right? Yea, it would seem so, but they give you relaxing medicine and numb up your back with local anesthesia (which is actually the part that hurts) and it only ends up being an uncomfortable 10 minute process. After that they make you lie on your back for a good hour or more so as to avoid excruciating head-aches, which I have not had. I was surprised when my mom entered the room with a good church-friend of ours, Amy Drake. The hour went by quickly, and it was so nice to see a familiar face in a place where everything is so foreign.
My mom and I have been searching for apartments because the place where we are living right now is more of a “temporary” lodging. It’s like a very nice hotel room, but I think for six months we are going to want something a little bigger and with a kitchen for sure.
I am excited to say that I will be going to my grandparents lakehouse for the weekend to relax. Actually, I think it is probably more for the benefit of my mother. Poor thing, she’s a trooper. (I will devote a future blog just to my mom.) I plan on watching lots of college football, eating my grandma’s mashed potatoes, and just spending time with my family, which is hard to come by these days. What with my mom and me in Houston and my dad and Kolby in Waco, but my family is strong, and I know that we’ll be able to stick it out.
I will try to be more diligent in my entries. I promise :)
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sleepy Sunday
The upside of the day: two of my friends from Baylor (both of which are from Houston), stopped by my hospital room after lunch and brought me a movie, a magazine, Sudoku, and an awesome Christian CD (compliments of E. Eddy's mother). Larkin and Elizabeth's visit made my entire day, thanks girls :) Today was also the first day that I actually felt affected by the chemotherapy. While the girls were in the room, the nurse brought me some anti-nausea medicine, and right after they left, it knocked me out for 3 hours. I'm talking like I couldn't even open my eyes knocked out. When two of my best friends called me from Argentina, I don't even remember what I said to them (so sorry Emmy and Kara!!). Today, God showed me a couple things, one that my life is on hold/or just completely turned upside down, and two that everyone else's lives will and should continue whether or not I am there. It's a pretty humbling realization--we are such a self-centered people.
Tomorrow I start two new types of chemo--Day 4: (In-patient) Doxorubicin for 24 hours x 1 dose, Vincristine x 1 dose. Please pray that my body will react well to the chemo, and that God will give me energy to stay healthy.
I love receiving everyone's messages. I check them every day (and yes when I'm bored, 2 or 3 times a day), it brings me a lot of joy to hear from you all :) So thank you
Tomorrow I start two new types of chemo--Day 4: (In-patient) Doxorubicin for 24 hours x 1 dose, Vincristine x 1 dose. Please pray that my body will react well to the chemo, and that God will give me energy to stay healthy.
I love receiving everyone's messages. I check them every day (and yes when I'm bored, 2 or 3 times a day), it brings me a lot of joy to hear from you all :) So thank you
Friday, October 24, 2008
To Answer a Question...
Some of you have been asking for my address in Houston. We don't have a permanent home as of right now, but hopefully by the beginning of November we will have an apartment down here. As soon as we move, I will definitely inform you.
For the time being, if you want my address in Lorena, it's 5005 southwinds drive lorena, texas 76655. My dad will be coming down a lot, so whatever you mail there he can bring to Houston.
Love,
Kendall Faith
For the time being, if you want my address in Lorena, it's 5005 southwinds drive lorena, texas 76655. My dad will be coming down a lot, so whatever you mail there he can bring to Houston.
Love,
Kendall Faith
This Hospital just DOESN'T Sleep
As I had written in my previous blog, my expected time of admission into the hospital was supposed to be 2 pm. My mom and I arrived on time at the admissions office, only to be told by the front desk that the hospital was at 105% capacity. Is that even possible? A little frustrated, okay maybe very frustrated, my mom and I drove back to our temporary living arrangements. We got the call at 8:30, the women said, “You have a bed, but there is someone in it right now.” Hmm….those of you who know me or worse my mother can guess the reaction on that one. But the lady on the other line saved herself by adding after a brief silence, “come at 9:30 and we’ll be ready for you.”
At 9:30 I was admitted and taken up to my small hospital room. Right away all these sweet little workers were taking my vital signs (blood pressure, temperature, pulse), extracting enough blood to feed a family of vampires, and were just in and out of the room. About an hour later, a man came in to put an IV on the side of my arm. By that time it was about 12. My mom and I dozed off in the room until around 2 when my nurse came in to start my chemo treatment. She started to explain to me about the chemo, its side-effects, etc. but I’m pretty sure only 20% went to my brain because I was so ridiculously tired. From 2 am until 5 am, there were three different nurses in and out of our room, taking vital signs every fifteen minutes (to make sure I didn’t have a bad reaction—which I didn’t) and of course drawing more blood. I know that there were some points when they had to physically move my arm to put the blood pressure band on it (I was so tired I couldn’t figure it out myself, yea, I’m goofy). The finger pulse taker fell off my finger probably 10 times and the little nurses had to get it for me because yet again, I was too drowsy to know what was going on. Anyways, I didn’t really feel any side effects with the first drug of the night, except maybe a slightly runny nose, sneezing, and itchy throat. After 3 hours of the first part of my chemo regimen, the nurse started shooting me up with a saline, antibiotic, and a nausea medicine. At 8, my nurse came in again to start another type of chemo, which took twice as long. When that had finished, around she put in more stuff, I’m not sure what it was, but whatever it was its still going to this very moment. Between the hours of 8 am and 8 pm, I had a CVC (central venous catheter) put in my chest (something that I never want to have to do again but probably will); an X-ray to make sure the catheter was positioned well into the vein, and a spinal tap to get some cerebral spinal fluid. Now, 8:15 pm, I will be taking another 3 hour round. After that, I'm thinking a good nights sleep is in order, but this hospital just doesn't sleep!!
I'm doing better than I thought I would be doing. Then I think, 6 months of this???? But when somebody posed this question to me, I thought twice. "You're giving up 6 months of your life to have the rest of your life." That's how I'm looking at it. A one step at a time kind of attitude. I say all this now, but its technically only been 24 hours since I was admitted. So, please pray for me that I can continue to have confidence that Christ is doing his will and also for the strength that only He can give. Thank you to all :)
At 9:30 I was admitted and taken up to my small hospital room. Right away all these sweet little workers were taking my vital signs (blood pressure, temperature, pulse), extracting enough blood to feed a family of vampires, and were just in and out of the room. About an hour later, a man came in to put an IV on the side of my arm. By that time it was about 12. My mom and I dozed off in the room until around 2 when my nurse came in to start my chemo treatment. She started to explain to me about the chemo, its side-effects, etc. but I’m pretty sure only 20% went to my brain because I was so ridiculously tired. From 2 am until 5 am, there were three different nurses in and out of our room, taking vital signs every fifteen minutes (to make sure I didn’t have a bad reaction—which I didn’t) and of course drawing more blood. I know that there were some points when they had to physically move my arm to put the blood pressure band on it (I was so tired I couldn’t figure it out myself, yea, I’m goofy). The finger pulse taker fell off my finger probably 10 times and the little nurses had to get it for me because yet again, I was too drowsy to know what was going on. Anyways, I didn’t really feel any side effects with the first drug of the night, except maybe a slightly runny nose, sneezing, and itchy throat. After 3 hours of the first part of my chemo regimen, the nurse started shooting me up with a saline, antibiotic, and a nausea medicine. At 8, my nurse came in again to start another type of chemo, which took twice as long. When that had finished, around she put in more stuff, I’m not sure what it was, but whatever it was its still going to this very moment. Between the hours of 8 am and 8 pm, I had a CVC (central venous catheter) put in my chest (something that I never want to have to do again but probably will); an X-ray to make sure the catheter was positioned well into the vein, and a spinal tap to get some cerebral spinal fluid. Now, 8:15 pm, I will be taking another 3 hour round. After that, I'm thinking a good nights sleep is in order, but this hospital just doesn't sleep!!
I'm doing better than I thought I would be doing. Then I think, 6 months of this???? But when somebody posed this question to me, I thought twice. "You're giving up 6 months of your life to have the rest of your life." That's how I'm looking at it. A one step at a time kind of attitude. I say all this now, but its technically only been 24 hours since I was admitted. So, please pray for me that I can continue to have confidence that Christ is doing his will and also for the strength that only He can give. Thank you to all :)
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Just call me a Houstonian
The test results given by Dr. Anderson
o My blood tests, bone marrow biopsy and heart tests came out well, no cause for worry
o My PET CT scan showed cancerous cells on my left kidney, left clavicle bone, 7th vertebrae, right side of the pelvic bone, and of course my neck. It is normal for the cancer to be spread out since I did have high-grade (fast-growing) lymphoma.
He concurred that I have Burkitt-type Lymphoma, but told us that the cancer cells are very similar to the cancer cells of leukemia. Since the type of Lymphoma I have and Leukemia are treated the same way (with the same type of chemo), Dr. Anderson transferred me to Dr. Deborah Thomas, who is a leukemia doctor. She told us the same exact thing as Dr. Anderson. She also told us what my chemo regimen will be like:
8 cycles (5 to 6 months)
Each cycle is as follows:
o 5 days of hospitalized chemotherapy with two spinal taps during this period
o 14 days of rest
o During days of rest—3 times each week I will have blood tests in the hospital to make sure my blood counts are not too low.
My parents and I asked the doctor in her opinion if we should have the blood tests done at home in Waco. She told us that in all honesty it would be better to stay in Houston to have it done; her reasons being the quality of care, the high likelihood of a need for blood transfusions (which they are easily equipped and capable of doing at MD Anderson), and in case of emergency. Needless to say, my parents have already found my mom and me a permanent apartment less than 10 miles from the hospital to stay. I will be able to come back to Waco for 3 to 7 day intervals, depending on my blood count. I am also, thankfully, allowed visitors whenever I want, provided that they are not sick. The chemotherapy will be knocking my white blood cells down and I won’t have a lot of resistance to illness, so I will have to become more of a “germ freak” than I already am—let’s hope I don’t become too OCD.
As of right now, I start my chemo treatments this Thursday, October 23rd and will finish on Monday, October 27th. Sadly, I will miss Baylor homecoming, pigskin, etc, but I am definitely there in spirit :)
Thanks again to all of you who care enough for me to read this blog and pray for me and my family. I will try to keep everyone updated. Please continue to pray—God really does answer prayers.
o My blood tests, bone marrow biopsy and heart tests came out well, no cause for worry
o My PET CT scan showed cancerous cells on my left kidney, left clavicle bone, 7th vertebrae, right side of the pelvic bone, and of course my neck. It is normal for the cancer to be spread out since I did have high-grade (fast-growing) lymphoma.
He concurred that I have Burkitt-type Lymphoma, but told us that the cancer cells are very similar to the cancer cells of leukemia. Since the type of Lymphoma I have and Leukemia are treated the same way (with the same type of chemo), Dr. Anderson transferred me to Dr. Deborah Thomas, who is a leukemia doctor. She told us the same exact thing as Dr. Anderson. She also told us what my chemo regimen will be like:
8 cycles (5 to 6 months)
Each cycle is as follows:
o 5 days of hospitalized chemotherapy with two spinal taps during this period
o 14 days of rest
o During days of rest—3 times each week I will have blood tests in the hospital to make sure my blood counts are not too low.
My parents and I asked the doctor in her opinion if we should have the blood tests done at home in Waco. She told us that in all honesty it would be better to stay in Houston to have it done; her reasons being the quality of care, the high likelihood of a need for blood transfusions (which they are easily equipped and capable of doing at MD Anderson), and in case of emergency. Needless to say, my parents have already found my mom and me a permanent apartment less than 10 miles from the hospital to stay. I will be able to come back to Waco for 3 to 7 day intervals, depending on my blood count. I am also, thankfully, allowed visitors whenever I want, provided that they are not sick. The chemotherapy will be knocking my white blood cells down and I won’t have a lot of resistance to illness, so I will have to become more of a “germ freak” than I already am—let’s hope I don’t become too OCD.
As of right now, I start my chemo treatments this Thursday, October 23rd and will finish on Monday, October 27th. Sadly, I will miss Baylor homecoming, pigskin, etc, but I am definitely there in spirit :)
Thanks again to all of you who care enough for me to read this blog and pray for me and my family. I will try to keep everyone updated. Please continue to pray—God really does answer prayers.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The Timeline
Cordoba, Argentina--July 2ish, 2008
While on a trip to Cordoba with my dear friend Lauren Brown, I felt a small lump below my jaw bone, to the right. I'm not a hypochondriac at all, in fact, I'm far from it. So when I randomly felt it one day, I didn't really think anything of it.
Mendoza, Argentina--July 28ish, 2008
I woke up one morning after a long night out with my friends to an incredibly swollen and very painful bump (or rather, third cheek) on my face. It was so inflamed that my host-mom, Sylvia, took me to the emergency room that day to get it checked out. They gave me an antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory, the swelling went down a little after three or four days, but it remained a well-defined ball on the right side of my face.
Mendoza, Argentina--August 4ish, 2008
My dad came to Mendoza to visit, needless to say, he was pretty concerned at this random growth. Since he was there, and I was his un-official tour guide, I wasn't able to go to the doctor again until after he left.
Mendoza, Argentina--August 14ish to September 25ish, 2008
I went from doctor to doctor to doctor in Mendoza; I was thoroughly frustrated at the slowness of their health care system and missed the efficiency of U.S. hospitals. This should give you an idea of the pulling and tossing the doctors did to me there. The first doctor sent me to another doctor to get blood work done. So I went and had my blood drawn, the next day returned to the first doctor but after looking at the blood work results, he thought it was an abscessed tooth. He sent me to a dentist. The dentist sent me to a different doctor to get an x-ray, who then sent me to a different doctor to get a different type of x-ray. I then went back to the dentist with the x-rays, and he told me it wasn't a tooth, so he sent me to another doctor. I went to the general practitioner who told me it had to be a salivary gland, so he sent me to get get an x-ray of my kneck and lower face. I took the x-ray back to the doctor. The findings were inconclusive, so he sent me to an ear/nose/throat specialist. The specialist told me it was for sure a stopped up salivary duct, so he sent me to get a needle biopsy (which are about 30 years out of date in the U.S.) and an ultrasound of "the bump." The needle biopsy just showed a bunch of different types of white blood cells. The new specialist then sent me to a different ear/nose/throat specialist who made me have yet another needle biopsy. By this time, I had been calling my dad about everyday, venting and telling him how slow it was going and how frustrated I was. I told him I just wanted to come home to have it taken care of but at the same time I didn't want to leave early. My dad and mom made the executive decision to change my flight to New York (for the 4th of October) to go to Dallas/Fort Worth on July 27th. I went to the second specialist on the 25th just to see the results to see if they had figured anything out, but the specialist told me that the best idea would be to return to the U.S. Thankfully, my parents had made the right decision and I told him I was already going home in two days. Confusing, right??? And the worst part is, you have to pick up all of your own test results from every appointment, and bring them to other doctors to have them analyzed. It's not like in the U.S. where the doctors can fax them, email or mail them.
Dallas/Fort Worth, TX--September 28, 2008
I arrived back to my sweet home of the U.S. of A!!!
Waco, TX--September 29, 2008
I had my first consultation with Dr. Jim Tandy--an ear/nose/throat specialist and family friend from church. He sent me to Providence Hospital to have blood tests and a CT scan.
Waco, TX--September 30, 2008
Tuesday, we went back to Dr. Tandy's office to see my results. He told me it was not my salivary gland, but actually a lymph node. What had taken over two months in Argentina to figure out had taken a total of two days. Dr. Tandy scheduled me for a biopsy, not a needle biopsy like the did in Argentina, but an actual sliver biopsy where they would put me under, cut a 2 inch slit under "the bump" (yes, I have a pretty sweet scar), and take out a large enough piece to get better results. He told me that there were many things it could be, more than likely some sort of virus or infectious disease i had picked up in my travels. He did tell me that there was a slight chance that it could be lymphoma--or cancer of the lymphatic system, but the odds of this were very slight.
Waco, TX--October 1, 2008
Dr. Tandy performs the biopsy. He told my mom that the results should be back by next Wednesday at the earliest--exactly a week away. He also said that what he saw was three very large lymph nodes, which could be a sign of an infectious disease that had taken hold of them, or lymphoma. I woke up from the anastesia, groggy and sore as heck, but excited that it was over and I was headed towards an answer and a solution. As well as New York City for my sister's wedding.
New York, New York--October 3, 2008
Arrive in NYC for my sister's wedding.
New York, New York--October 8, 2008
My dad calls from Texas to tell my mom, sister and I that the biopsy report was back and that I have lymphoma.
New York, New York—October 8 to 11, 2008
We prepared for the wedding. My dad made an appointment for me with an oncologist in Waco, and at the urging of Dr. Tilson (my brother-in-laws father), he also made an appointment at M.D. Anderson in Houston.
Waco, Texas—October 14, 2008
I went to an oncologist in Waco the very next morning that I got back from New York. He told me that I had high-grade, type-B, non-Hodgkins lymphoma (aka Burkitt's Lymphoma). He told us that only 5% of all lymphoma patients are diagnosed with this particular type of lymphoma, and that because it is so uncommon (but not necessarily worse than others), it would be best for us to go to either Dallas or Houston to a bigger hospital asap. Yet again, by the grace of God, we already had an appointment in two days.
Houston, Texas—October 16, 2008
I had an appointment with Dr. McLaughlin, who is specialized in Lymphoma. He was extremely nice and a little quirky, which as you know, I myself am a bit quirky, so naturally I really liked him. After, I had blood taken for some testing, a chest CT scan, and then a pelvis and abdomen CT scan.
Houston, Texas—October 17, 2008
On Friday I had a Cardiac scan and a Bone Marrow aspiration/biopsy (a very strange and slightly painful testing).
Waco, Texas—October 17-19, 2008
After the testing, I returned home for the weekend to spend some time with my family and my two best friends from High School.
Houston, Texas—October 20, 2008
I had a renal ultrasound, resting EKG test, and a PET CT scan. I don’t expect everyone to know what the tests mean, but basically they are doing all these tests to have a base to compare my future test results with for when I am in chemo. Also, some of them will tell us if the cancer has spread.
Houston, Texas—October 21, 2008
Meeting with Dr. Anderson to get the results at 3:00 pm. We will also discuss my chemo regimen, its schedule, its effects, etc. I will definitely update as soon as I can on Tuesday evening.
I DO INTEND ON KEEPING THIS UPDATED BECAUSE I REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE EASIEST WAY TO GET THE FULL STORY OUT TO EVERYONE WITHOUT BEING ON THE PHONE OR COMPUTER ALL DAY :)
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR YOUR CONCERN BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOUR CONSTANT PRAYERS. I ENJOY READING YOUR EMAILS, MESSAGES, TEXTS, ETC. THEY REALLY DO GIVE ME COURAGE AND HELP TO KEEP MY ATTITUDE POSITIVE.
THANKS AGAIN!
love,
Kendall
While on a trip to Cordoba with my dear friend Lauren Brown, I felt a small lump below my jaw bone, to the right. I'm not a hypochondriac at all, in fact, I'm far from it. So when I randomly felt it one day, I didn't really think anything of it.
Mendoza, Argentina--July 28ish, 2008
I woke up one morning after a long night out with my friends to an incredibly swollen and very painful bump (or rather, third cheek) on my face. It was so inflamed that my host-mom, Sylvia, took me to the emergency room that day to get it checked out. They gave me an antibiotic and an anti-inflammatory, the swelling went down a little after three or four days, but it remained a well-defined ball on the right side of my face.
Mendoza, Argentina--August 4ish, 2008
My dad came to Mendoza to visit, needless to say, he was pretty concerned at this random growth. Since he was there, and I was his un-official tour guide, I wasn't able to go to the doctor again until after he left.
Mendoza, Argentina--August 14ish to September 25ish, 2008
I went from doctor to doctor to doctor in Mendoza; I was thoroughly frustrated at the slowness of their health care system and missed the efficiency of U.S. hospitals. This should give you an idea of the pulling and tossing the doctors did to me there. The first doctor sent me to another doctor to get blood work done. So I went and had my blood drawn, the next day returned to the first doctor but after looking at the blood work results, he thought it was an abscessed tooth. He sent me to a dentist. The dentist sent me to a different doctor to get an x-ray, who then sent me to a different doctor to get a different type of x-ray. I then went back to the dentist with the x-rays, and he told me it wasn't a tooth, so he sent me to another doctor. I went to the general practitioner who told me it had to be a salivary gland, so he sent me to get get an x-ray of my kneck and lower face. I took the x-ray back to the doctor. The findings were inconclusive, so he sent me to an ear/nose/throat specialist. The specialist told me it was for sure a stopped up salivary duct, so he sent me to get a needle biopsy (which are about 30 years out of date in the U.S.) and an ultrasound of "the bump." The needle biopsy just showed a bunch of different types of white blood cells. The new specialist then sent me to a different ear/nose/throat specialist who made me have yet another needle biopsy. By this time, I had been calling my dad about everyday, venting and telling him how slow it was going and how frustrated I was. I told him I just wanted to come home to have it taken care of but at the same time I didn't want to leave early. My dad and mom made the executive decision to change my flight to New York (for the 4th of October) to go to Dallas/Fort Worth on July 27th. I went to the second specialist on the 25th just to see the results to see if they had figured anything out, but the specialist told me that the best idea would be to return to the U.S. Thankfully, my parents had made the right decision and I told him I was already going home in two days. Confusing, right??? And the worst part is, you have to pick up all of your own test results from every appointment, and bring them to other doctors to have them analyzed. It's not like in the U.S. where the doctors can fax them, email or mail them.
Dallas/Fort Worth, TX--September 28, 2008
I arrived back to my sweet home of the U.S. of A!!!
Waco, TX--September 29, 2008
I had my first consultation with Dr. Jim Tandy--an ear/nose/throat specialist and family friend from church. He sent me to Providence Hospital to have blood tests and a CT scan.
Waco, TX--September 30, 2008
Tuesday, we went back to Dr. Tandy's office to see my results. He told me it was not my salivary gland, but actually a lymph node. What had taken over two months in Argentina to figure out had taken a total of two days. Dr. Tandy scheduled me for a biopsy, not a needle biopsy like the did in Argentina, but an actual sliver biopsy where they would put me under, cut a 2 inch slit under "the bump" (yes, I have a pretty sweet scar), and take out a large enough piece to get better results. He told me that there were many things it could be, more than likely some sort of virus or infectious disease i had picked up in my travels. He did tell me that there was a slight chance that it could be lymphoma--or cancer of the lymphatic system, but the odds of this were very slight.
Waco, TX--October 1, 2008
Dr. Tandy performs the biopsy. He told my mom that the results should be back by next Wednesday at the earliest--exactly a week away. He also said that what he saw was three very large lymph nodes, which could be a sign of an infectious disease that had taken hold of them, or lymphoma. I woke up from the anastesia, groggy and sore as heck, but excited that it was over and I was headed towards an answer and a solution. As well as New York City for my sister's wedding.
New York, New York--October 3, 2008
Arrive in NYC for my sister's wedding.
New York, New York--October 8, 2008
My dad calls from Texas to tell my mom, sister and I that the biopsy report was back and that I have lymphoma.
New York, New York—October 8 to 11, 2008
We prepared for the wedding. My dad made an appointment for me with an oncologist in Waco, and at the urging of Dr. Tilson (my brother-in-laws father), he also made an appointment at M.D. Anderson in Houston.
Waco, Texas—October 14, 2008
I went to an oncologist in Waco the very next morning that I got back from New York. He told me that I had high-grade, type-B, non-Hodgkins lymphoma (aka Burkitt's Lymphoma). He told us that only 5% of all lymphoma patients are diagnosed with this particular type of lymphoma, and that because it is so uncommon (but not necessarily worse than others), it would be best for us to go to either Dallas or Houston to a bigger hospital asap. Yet again, by the grace of God, we already had an appointment in two days.
Houston, Texas—October 16, 2008
I had an appointment with Dr. McLaughlin, who is specialized in Lymphoma. He was extremely nice and a little quirky, which as you know, I myself am a bit quirky, so naturally I really liked him. After, I had blood taken for some testing, a chest CT scan, and then a pelvis and abdomen CT scan.
Houston, Texas—October 17, 2008
On Friday I had a Cardiac scan and a Bone Marrow aspiration/biopsy (a very strange and slightly painful testing).
Waco, Texas—October 17-19, 2008
After the testing, I returned home for the weekend to spend some time with my family and my two best friends from High School.
Houston, Texas—October 20, 2008
I had a renal ultrasound, resting EKG test, and a PET CT scan. I don’t expect everyone to know what the tests mean, but basically they are doing all these tests to have a base to compare my future test results with for when I am in chemo. Also, some of them will tell us if the cancer has spread.
Houston, Texas—October 21, 2008
Meeting with Dr. Anderson to get the results at 3:00 pm. We will also discuss my chemo regimen, its schedule, its effects, etc. I will definitely update as soon as I can on Tuesday evening.
I DO INTEND ON KEEPING THIS UPDATED BECAUSE I REALIZE THAT THIS IS THE EASIEST WAY TO GET THE FULL STORY OUT TO EVERYONE WITHOUT BEING ON THE PHONE OR COMPUTER ALL DAY :)
I LOVE YOU ALL AND THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART FOR YOUR CONCERN BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY YOUR CONSTANT PRAYERS. I ENJOY READING YOUR EMAILS, MESSAGES, TEXTS, ETC. THEY REALLY DO GIVE ME COURAGE AND HELP TO KEEP MY ATTITUDE POSITIVE.
THANKS AGAIN!
love,
Kendall
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