It's Been Awhile

Okay, so this is going to be a little bit more of an informative post. I realize I haven't posted in a pretty long time, and I need to catch everyone up.
Last Wednesday started round two of chemotherapy. I stayed in the hospital for four days, had some wonderful visitors--five to be exact, and basically passed the rest of my time reading the Twilight series. This hospital stay was probably 10 times better than the first one. I'm not sure if it was the type of chemo, more to do, visitors, one really good nurse who talked to me a lot, or maybe it was just the combination. Whatever the reason, I am so thankful that the four days went by relatively fast. As soon as I got out of the hospital, my mom and I drove to meet up with my roommates who finally arrived from Argentina! Yay! Over my stay in the hospital, my mom and our family friend, Jeannine, moved into our homey apartment. Our apartment is less than 2 miles away from the medical center, and it takes less than five minutes to get there. This helps a lot, especially on days like today when I have to be at the hospital at 7 am.
I went back a couple days after I was released for a full 13 hour day of out-patient chemo—lumbar puncture included. My roommates came with my mom and me to the hospital and were able to get an idea of my days in Houston, which aren't too exciting.
Thanksgiving at my grandparents’ lakehouse was great. We watched college football, read for hours, played board games and all of us played what was probably the most hilarious and entertaining game of Catch Phrase. We all laughed so hard—tears and snorting included, and my roommates and I still laugh about it. We also ate an ungodly amount of food; my grandma finds enjoyment in stuffing us like turkeys before sending us on our merry way back home. She’s extremely good at making you get seconds even though you feel like you couldn’t eat another bite. We had to cut our stay short due to another appointment, but it was still great to be with all my family and my friends, no matter how brief. I did miss my sister and brother-in-law a whole lot. My entire family was supposed to go to Tennessee for the break, but sadly that was impossible, another year perhaps. After leaving the lake, my mom, dad, little sister, two friends, family dog and I all stayed in our small one bedroom/1 bathroom apartment. We were packed tighter than sardines, or so the saying goes, I think. The following morning, mom left for Tennessee to be with Kari Ann and Bryan. Although hesitant to leave me alone (but my college roommates were and are still here), we were able to convince her that I would be fine for a few days. I promised I would take all my medicines, get up for my doctor’s appointments, wash my hands (which I always do anyways, remember that I am "germ conscious"), stay out of big crowds, and not try to do too much, etc. My mom is like my own little nurse, and I’m not going to lie I was a little nervous when she left. (I miss you mom). Thankfully this round of chemo has been so much easier than the last, and I haven’t felt sick at all, maybe tired for a couple of days. Kolby (she called herself the junior college girl this weekend, it was really cute) and dad left the same day to head back to Waco, and that left my roommates and me alone in Houston.
Since it’s just been the three of us, we’ve been watching a lot of Grey’s Anatomy, cooking dinner, scrapbooking, reading, playing Disney scene-it, and going to Starbucks and movies. It’s the first time since October 8th that I’ve felt normal. Not just physically, although I do feel great, but more importantly I feel more like me. I think it’s the fact that Emmy Jo and Kara are crazy and super entertaining. We are all three pretty ridiculous in our own ways, and when we’re together we laugh all the time. I love it. I don’t know how many times I’ve said it, but I’m going to say it again, I have the best friends in the world.
My doctor told me last week that there was a chance I would need a blood transfusion today. I had to be up at the hospital this morning for blood tests at 7 am, and thankfully everything is looking good. My counts are on the low side but are still in the good range.
I was a little surprised because Dr. Thomas told me that this round would be harder than the first and that I would more than likely have lower levels than round one. On Tuesday I have another appointment and hopefully Dr. T will tell me everything looks good so that I can come home for a couple of days. I’ll definitely post as soon as I know if I can.
I'll write again soon.

CANCER FREE!!!

Where to begin, with a title like that, the only place really is from the beginning? All last week I knew I was going to have a second PET scan (the scan that shows where the cancer is in the entire body), and to be honest with you I was worried. I had a spot of cancer on my vertebrae in my first PET scan, and I envisioned myself being told that it had spread to my spinal cord (not good, at all). I knew that this was not highly likely, but definitely possible. I terrified myself by thinking of worst possible scenarios, never a good idea. You’re mind can’t help but wander in times like these. Anyways, walking into M.D. Anderson this morning, I felt strangely calm, and I know now that God was giving me His peace. I suited up in my scrubs that were two sizes to big, was injected with radioactive material, waited/rested for an hour for the injection to circulate through my entire body, and was finally told to lay down with my hands above my head and my legs straight. I was slowly passed through a scanner. It took about 20 or so minutes. Thankfully, I was able to stay still (I’m not very good in enclosed spaces). Two hours later, I was called in for my doctor’s appointment. My mom was with me. The physician’s assistant came in, a smile playing on her lips. Halfway through going over my blood work, she happily said, “I only have good news for you today.” I think I knew then. She then handed me a piece of paper that in the center read “scan demonstrates complete response to therapy” and then with a huge smile said, “you are cancer free.” I looked at my mom and we both smiled. Surprisingly, I didn’t cry. My tears might have brimmed a little, but mostly I was just smiling. I wanted to hug her, but I refrained. My PA (her name is Lori) almost started crying, and searched unsuccessfully for tissues. After she left, my mom and I, still smiling, hugged each other and sat silently waiting for my doctor. My doctor, who I just found out is the number one expert in her field in the nation (I knew she was smart, but man…praise the Lord she is my doctor), came in grinning as well. Dr. Thomas told me that this was the best case scenario, and that it is a good sign. She seemed very happy, and I know that when Dr. Thomas is happy, then I can be ecstatic. She then went over the next round of chemo with me. Yes, don’t be surprised, I still have to finish ALL of my chemotherapy treatments. She told us that I have to finish it out because at this point the cancer can and probably would come back, so I have to endure the next 7 rounds/5 months, more or less. Actually, knowing that the cancer is gone is going to make this SO much easier. I can now tell myself when I’m feeling crappy that I’m cancer free because the chemo is working and will continue to work. Dr. Thomas also told me that after I’m completely done with the chemo, I’ll have to come back for regular tests for a year, and if I go a full year without the cancer returning I will be 100% cured--the cancer I have (or had) will NEVER come back. I’m being admitted tomorrow, I’m not sure exactly when, but now I’m more ready than ever. I never thought I’d say this, but I actually can’t wait to get in the hospital. Weird…Anyways, that’s what happened to today.
I think I should say as well that God really has answered a lot of prayers. I know that so many people have been praying, and God has been/is listening. All I can say right now is that He is good, He is the Great Healer, but most importantly God has been and will continue to remain faithful. I know that I am now cancer free, but please continue to pray for the next five months, this chemo regimen is not easy and really takes a lot out of me. Please pray that God will keep me healthy, keep my body strong, and keep the cancer from coming back. Love you all!

Praise the Lord. He is our battle-shield. He is our Redeemer.

Dr. Deborah A Thomas

I wrote a post a while ago talking about my doctor, "The Queen." I was doing a little research last night and decided to look her up. This is what I found. This woman is ridiculously good at what she does. YAY for me!!!
Check out Dr. Thomas with the web address below.
http://www.mdanderson.org/departments/leukemia/display.cfm?id=C646F102-D121-11D4-80FD00508B603A14&method=displayFull&pn=0F815FDC-C623-11D4-80FB00508B603A14

Home Sweet Home

I've been wanting to write for a long time, but it seems that having nothing of importance to do actually makes me not want to do anything at all. I kind of like it. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I haven’t had any obligations whatsoever. I’m not in school, I’m not in any kind of organization, I don’t even have a hobby--yet. I’m enjoying it for the time being, but I think after a while I might go a little crazy. I mean, a person can’t sit in front of the TV all day without their mind turning into mush. I’m about to begin my new hobby—reading, I LOVE reading.
I came home last Friday and spent the evening and following morning/afternoon with my best friend, who drove in from College Station to see me even though she had two tests and two projects due the following week. Since then, I have had sorority sisters come out to my house, coffee and dessert with the ladies from church, lunch with friends, and just loads of visitors, phone calls, letters, and e-mails. It has been a tremendous encouragement—tremendous. God is faithful and continues to bless me with the joy of friends and family.
I know in my last post I talked a little bit about losing my hair. Well I have a little bit of a funny story. Last Sunday evening, five of my Baylor friends came out to my house in Lorena to stay the night. After going to a late showing of High School Musical 3 (yes…real mature), we all thought it would be a great idea to dye streaks of blue into our hair. At 1 am, the girls and I go out on the back porch to start the process of bleaching our hair. We wait about 30 minutes or so for the bleach to set, we put the blue in. Another 45 minutes of waiting and laughing hysterically passes. Girl number one sticks her head under the faucet of my tub, but as massive amounts of dark blue dye slushes around in the tub, we realize that it probably isn’t a good idea to dye my tub along with our hair. At this point it’s around 3 am and pretty chilly outside—probably in the 50s. We decide it’s a way better idea to go outside and stick our head under the hose to rid our hair of this foul smelling blue dye. Yea…we are in college, but we’re apparently not too bright. It was so cold, and we’re all outside standing under the hose, semi blue-headed and soaking wet because my hose is a little on the strong side. Lucky for me, I had my head shaved the next day, but those poor girls will have blue streaks in their hair for the next 8 weeks. I have great friends.
This has been a week of rest, and I am so glad that I was able to come home. I’m heading back to Houston on the 17th, which I believe is Monday, to start round two of my treatments. I’m not 100% sure that I’m ready, but I know that the sooner I get started, the sooner it will be over. My dad and friend/pastor keep reminding me to take each day as it comes. If I start to project too far ahead, I scare the geez out of myself. I honestly think that’s how life is in general. When I took my first Anatomy and Physiology class, I would make myself ill thinking about how many tests I had left or how many days I was going to need to study for the next test. In my second A&P class, I trained myself instead to think daily—today I’m going to study. Thinking too far ahead is stressful, and stress really just makes things worse.

“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Matthew 6:34

Early Sunday Morning Reflections

I woke up at 5:30 am--this is NOT a normal thing. Ask any of my friends or better yet, my roommates from college, and they would tell you of my angry, not a morning person, don’t even think about waking me up even if I tell you to the night before, stories.
Not too much new information since last Wednesday. I'm finally home :) What a gigantic relief to be able to sit on the couch with all of my family (well, minus Kari Ann and Bryan) and watch a football game.
Now, if I were still in Argentina, which I would have been until the 13th of December, I would be traveling with my friends right now to all kinds of interesting places. That’s a tough one. I think I might actually prefer sitting around with my family to the 34 hour bus ride that my friends are currently taking. Girls, I know giving up the last 2 weeks of your traveling time was a bit of a messy ordeal, but it’s something that I will never forget—never.
Yesterday, reality hit me like a big slap on the face. As I ran my fingers through my hair, I couldn’t help but stare at the globs remaining in my hands. I mean, I knew this day was coming. As a matter of fact, I knew it was approaching rapidly, but I just didn’t realize that even something like losing your hair changes normal life. Maybe it’s the fact that I will actually look like a cancer patient, there’s no more denying it. And okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. I’m not too upset by the fact that I’m going to be bald here soon. In fact, I’m actually enjoying hat shopping probably a little too much at the moment. I bought a super cute one from Target yesterday, my friend Amy is giving me one at church because apparently “I will love it” (and I’m sure I will), and my creative Ammy from North Carolina is already making me a couple. I feel a tad bit pampered and extremely loved, but I’m not complaining J I’m pretty sure I have the most supportive family, church and friends that a girl could ever ask for, and I do feel blessed every single day.
New plans for Christmas—each year my family goes to south Florida for the Christmas holidays. It’s been a tradition every since we moved to Texas when I was in 3rd grade. This tradition has only been broken one time in the past, but it seems that this year, my family will break tradition yet again. As I said in my post from last week, planning anything extensive is just not possible right now, so the best we can do is “plan” on staying close to home. I’m actually pretty excited about it because my sister and brother-in-law are going to be coming down to visit, and I cannot wait to be surrounded by the people I love the most! I know that sounds cheesy and all, but I think it kind of comes with the territory.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express" (Romans 8:26).
How deep is the grace of Christ that when we don’t know how to pray or what to say to God, He does it for us

Giving Up on Making Plans

I must admit, I'm a little bit of a control-freak. I like planning, I like a written schedule, I like a time-line, I just love knowing or atleast thinking I know what my future holds. Reality check, I can't even make plans for my weekend because everything is continually changing, from doctor's appointments and results, to different events, to making time to see or just stay in touch with family and friends. It's just frustrating the living daylights out of me that my life at the moment is a big fat Question Mark ??? Where will I be this weekend, next week, next month, next year? I thought I knew. I had this perfect plan for myself: Argentina until December, then nursing school in January, New York after graduation, etc. etc. This has all changed for the time being, and my life has moved in a little bit of a different direction.
So now that I've vented a little, I'm going to tell what I'm learning in all of this. I don't know what the future holds. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. The only thing that I do know, and that I can 100% trust in right now is that God is in control. He is making straight my paths. He is the best planner--way better than I could ever be. He is good, and He has His plan that is in His time and is for His glory.
The more I give my life to him, the more peace I feel.
This is just a little something that I thought I should share briefly.

Exciting News

Today, I had bloodwork in the morning, an appointment with Dr. Thomas, and chemo. We left the house at 7:45 am and didn't get back until 6:45 pm. It was a pretty long day. Dr. Thomas told me that my platelet and hemoglobin counts are good right now, but my neutrophil (the defense against harmful microbes) is in the red zone. She said that they should be recovered by Friday, but until then, I will mainly be staying in our room in an attempt to avoid any type of illness. When I do go out, I have to wear a medical mask and gloves to ward off bacteria. I really just have to stear clear of large groups of people, which is just asking for trouble. Also, I have been taking an antibiotic, antiviral, and two antifungals daily, so that should help as well. They really don't kid around about this stuff. I'm kind of laughing now about the statement I wrote in an earlier post, "I will have to become more of a “germ freak” than I already am—let’s hope I don’t become too OCD." Remember that one? Yes, I already have a tendency of worrying a little too much about germs and am occasionally called a "germ freak" by members of my family and close friends. Just ask my best friend, Amanda, who in middle school (and yes, high school, we were obviously so mature) would without fail stick one finger in my bread, corn, applesauce, or some other food item on my lunch tray. She knew I wouldn't eat it because of her "germy" hands and loved watching me get mad or just exasperated. However, for future reference, I prefer to be called "germ conscious," or even "germ aware" would be fine. Back to the doctor's appointment. She told us that since my WBC count should (should being the key word here) be recovered on Friday, or at the latest Tuesday, I can come home to Waco until the 18th of November, on which day I will be re-admitted for another 4 days of in-patient chemo. The doctor told us that this rarely happens and that we should take advantage while we have the opportunity to go home. A whole week at home! What a blessing!! We have been living out of our small suitcases that we brought weeks ago, when we thought we would be commuting to Houston for treatments--not living in Houston permanently. We are going to be able to go home, relax, and pack for the months ahead. I am just praying that everything works out, and that nothing big will happen to keep us in Houston. So this is the exciting news. God keeps giving me great things to look forward to that are helping me to await the future with more than just uncertainty, but with excitement and joy. For example, I'm seeing Amanda this weekend, I'm going home, Thanksgiving at my grandparent's lakehouse, Emmy Jo, Kara and Lauren are coming home from Argentina early to spend two weeks with me in Houston, Christmas in Florida with my family, my sister coming to Houston for a visit, my 21st birthday in January, and I'm sure that He has more great things in store.

A Perfectly Uneventful Weekend

The weekend was such a refreshing break, and I am happy to say that as predicted, I watched football, spent time with my family, and ate my Omi's mashed potatoes--they are the best in the world. We lazed through the weekend with no major problems and few minor ones. The two that were encountered were actually pretty funny, and I am going to try to give them both justice in a quick recount of the events. My mom and I left Houston for the lakehouse (a 2 and a half hour journey) at 1 pm or so on Saturday afternoon. After about 45 minutes of painful stop-and-go traffic driving, we stopped at a Sonic to get something to eat. "Mom, we got all my medicines, didn't we?" Why I didn't asked this 45 minutes earlier, I still don't know. My mom sat thinking for a minute, a second later in a highly exasperated voice "I forgot your heparin flush!" Heparin flush is a liquid injection that my mom shoots into the catheter in my chest daily to clean it out. It's a pretty important step in my daily routine. Now to my moms credit, I didn't help her at all in the packing of the car, and it was an easy mistake that I could have definitely helped to prevent. Thankfully, the hour and a half extra in the car was thought of as little more than a comical mishap shortly after. On Sunday evening, I asked my mom to change the dressing over my catheter. It's supposed to be changed once a week, and there is like an 18 step completely sterile process to change it. It's kind of a pain, but since the catheter leads into one of the major veins close to the heart, it's kind of important to keep it clean. So anyways, after my mom had cleaned the surface of the countertop, slowly taken off the old bandage, carefully cleaned the wound, and re-covered it with new gauze, she looks for the special type of bandage to put over the gauze and it is nowhere to be found. After this 20 minute process of slow and sterile cleaning, I'm sitting on the chair with only gauze over these holes in my chest. Come to find out, all of the supplies for the dressing change came in the package that we received from the hospital, everything that is EXCEPT the bandage. It was late and the lakehouse is out in the country, so there was no hope of going to a pharmacy. My mom, the creative mind that she is, made due with Glad clingwrap, white medical tape and bandaids. We will be changing this make-shift bandage as soon as we get back to Houston. I can't help but laugh whenever I think about it; me sitting in a chair watching while everyone is frantically searching for some sort of bandage. The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful, but uneventful right now is good. I have decided that my mom and grandma are the two most servant-hearted people that I have ever met. They really find joy in serving other people, and I can really see Christ in them. So if you are reading this mom and Omi, I want to say thank you because I don't think I say it enough.
My dad brought me a box of various letters and a couple packages that were all sent to my house in Waco. I feel so blessed to have the love and support of so many people. Thank you again and again--I can't say it enough.
A prayer answered--After 5 days of tirelessly searching, my mom and I have an apartment and will be moving in on November 18th. We are both so excited to have a "home." It is very close to the hospital, close to some fun shopping (this could be trouble, j/k dad), and just plain beautiful. There's a work-out facility, pool, lake, entertainment center, business center, and everything you can think of. God is good and is continually providing.
Tomorrow I have out-patient chemo, three different types; one will be new and the other two I've had before. Please pray that my body responds well to the chemos.

Thanks for all of your prayers :) I am one blessed girl.