I must admit, I'm a little bit of a control-freak. I like planning, I like a written schedule, I like a time-line, I just love knowing or atleast thinking I know what my future holds. Reality check, I can't even make plans for my weekend because everything is continually changing, from doctor's appointments and results, to different events, to making time to see or just stay in touch with family and friends. It's just frustrating the living daylights out of me that my life at the moment is a big fat Question Mark ??? Where will I be this weekend, next week, next month, next year? I thought I knew. I had this perfect plan for myself: Argentina until December, then nursing school in January, New York after graduation, etc. etc. This has all changed for the time being, and my life has moved in a little bit of a different direction.
So now that I've vented a little, I'm going to tell what I'm learning in all of this. I don't know what the future holds. Heck, I don't even know what I'm doing tomorrow. The only thing that I do know, and that I can 100% trust in right now is that God is in control. He is making straight my paths. He is the best planner--way better than I could ever be. He is good, and He has His plan that is in His time and is for His glory.
The more I give my life to him, the more peace I feel.
This is just a little something that I thought I should share briefly.
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8 comments:
Kendall -
You don't know me, but a counselor from Lorena Elementary that is in my Mom-to-Mom group at church asked that we pray for you and your family. As she briefly described your condition, I immediately recognized it as Burkitt's Lymphoma. Our 11 year old nephew in Oklahoma was diagnosed with Burkitts and just finished his final round of chemo a month ago. He is now cancer free! I just wanted to let you know that while it may be a difficult 6 months, there is a light at the end of tunnel and hope that you will one day return to your normal life and be able to continue with your plans. May God bless you and your family during this time and please know that there are people at Brazos Meadows Baptist Church in Hewitt praying for you.
Sharla Chambers
Kendall, I am exactly the same way, always making plans & time lines. It must run in the family! It is so difficult to let go & allow things to happen that were never on your "to do list". When I began dating Mat I would almost have panic attacks when he would suprise me with somthing that changed my plan for the day even if he was trying to do somthing nice or romantic. I have learned to relax a bit & now accept that everything that happens is a part of a greater plan that God has for me. It seems to me like you have come to this realization much easier than I did! your just too clever! I look at it like this, I never stopped making plans, there will always be a to-do list in my mind, however one of the items on my list reads like this "accept life as it comes and all of the suprises it bring with it".
I love reading your thoughts Kendall, you have inspired me to rethink my life and how I look at where I am & where I am going. I have always felt fortunate to have the family I was given, but now more than ever I feel really tryly blessed.
XOXO
Soren
Kendall-not that this is at all related to your post today (though we all struggle with that, trust me), I wanted to let you know I found a cool hat for you whenever you need it! Praying for you & your family. Thanks for the updates. Amy Drake :)
Kendall,
Hi. It's JEnnifer Daniels, a friend of Kristen Hatton. I have been praying for you and have loved reading your blog. As you know, I went through the exact same six month treatment you are currently doing. I am amazed by your strength and humbled by your faith. You are a remarkable young woman with an amazing future ahead of you. God has blessed so many because of your faith. Please contact me if I can be of any help. Just know a fellow patient is praying for you and knows exactly how you might be feeling.
Love and Blessings,
Jennifer Daniels
Kendall,
This is Deanna Marek. You graduated with my son, Michael Bayer. I have been keeping up with your blog since day one. You are in our family's prayers.
My brother was diagnosed with cancer when he was in college (your age actually). It was a struggle. However, he was determined to not let it take over his life. He graduated summa cum laude wearing his cap taped to his bald head. I relay this to you, because, after reading your blogs, and from what I have been told about you, I can see how determined you are to fight this and win. I want you know that you can do this! By the looks of it, you have so many people behind you that love you and care for you and will be there for you.
Just remember, God is your greatest backer.
I have a sign in my office, that when times are tough I read. It says: "Faith makes things possible...not easy."
I also rely heavily on Psalm 27.
May God bless you with his healing hands and wrap you in his loving arms, giving you the strength and courage you need.
Deanna Marek
Kendall, My sister Kay Dunlap and I used to have the same need for everything to be scheduled. It was difficult to get past that, but we did! Now, for me at least, I love the freedom of not being addicted to a schedule. If plans change, oh well, it could be worse! The first oncologist who treated Kay told her that a strong support system was a major factor in successful treatment of cancer. It is obvious that you have that. Everything you're going through right now will make you stronger.
Linda Hough
Kendall...You are such an inspiration to me. You have figured out what I have totally been struggling with for well, my entire life. It's all about God and his plans. He sometimes has a way of working those things in there. I want you to know that James and I (plus Fairway Baptist Church in Wichita Falls) is praying for you and the rest of the Kayworth/Kirkland clan. Please let us know if there is ever anything we can do!! Courtney (*Schultz*)
Kendall,
It was so good to see your pretty face at church on Sunday - even if it was from afar! We have been praying for you everyday. I am so blessed to read about your faith and see how GOd is giving you the faith and strength you need to carry you through. We will pray that you continue to feel His strength and mercy through this.
Just now as I pulled up your blog, Hope say your picture and said, "Is that Kendall???? I love Kendall, she is the BEST!" Please know that you are loved and prayed for even more than you know!:)
Love,
Todd, Gretchen, Hope and Kate Gibson
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